TAG me!
Entries for August, 2004
I guess I wanted to continue this journal after all. Life goes on... |
4am. It was one chilly dawn of August 14. I got off from Dan's car in Welcome rotonda in Quezon City. I crossed the street and got on a jeepney, going to Manila. While the jeep passes by España, I never knew that I'm about to be a victim of three thugs. The two sits beside me, and the other one, in front. They were there before before I got on the jeep. My celphone rests inside my left pocket in my shorts. I got my coins out of a pocket on my bag. A 25 cent dropped off my hand, and the person in front of me got it from me quickly. I only remember a 25 cents. But this person told me that there is another 1 peso coin dropped below where I sit. That was suspicious, but I ride on. I don't remember a Peso falling off my hand that moment. That man acted as if he was really getting that coin. I'm so stupidly unsuspecting that the other man from my left was already stealing my phone. And I didn't feel anything. After he gave the coin to me, the two other men rushed out of the jeep. Suddenly, I felt something have gone wrong. I saw the man in front of me whispered on a passenger beside him. As if he was telling that, "Yung mama, nanakawan (That man just got robbed)." I didn't really heared what he said but I know something went wrong. So I touched my left-side pocket to check my phone, and it was already gone. A few meters away, the man in front of me got off to. Then I just realized that HE was ONE OF THEM. I got mad not because I lost my phone, but because they turned me into a sucker. I didn't report that on police because I don't want my parents to know that I've been hanging out on QC. What happened next. That moment, there was another man who sits somewhere on the end of the Jeepney. He was trying to calm me down. He told me that he was also once a victim of a hold-up somewhere in Quiapo. Then we exchanged stories as the Jeep goes. Then he asked me where I am getting off. Coincidentally, we are getting off on the same place, at Pedro Gil. Then we got off. As we walked by another Jeepney station, he asked me where do I live. Coincidentally, we both live in Makati. So we rode a jeep going to Makati. Guess again. Coincidentally, we both live on the same neighborhood. OH MY GOD! I never want this thing to spread-out to my place, and mostly to my family. When we got off to our place, he asked me what is my name. I lied, I told him that my name is "Edwin". *LOL* And I walked on a squatters area, away from him so he doesn't follow me. I don't know him. The good thing is he doesn't know me, although he mentioned about a family member of his (who I know very well). I don't really give a damn about that cellphone. |
You may start to think that I'm crazy or anything. A few days ago, I started to become so quiet. I mean really quiet. Lately, I've been spending a lot of time thinking how would I kill myself. Even though good things happen. It seems that hopelessness covered me. I know. All people get through this. But each person has their own coping ability. I've been deppressed for months now. I even don't know for how many months now. It seems that I cannot take anymore of these. My pain seemed like hell on Dante's inferno. The pain was repeatedly done over and over again. I'm afraid. I just don't want any of my friends to get involved in my problem. Whatever it is, it's just mine. I never thought that a one small problem that I've kept ignoring will create such big mess. I need help. |
I almost did it. It's not because I'm afraid or something, but there is a part of who wants to stay alive for a reason. For what reason, is what I wuld like to find out for myself. Now, I feel like a lost soul, wandering around, waiting something to happened. |
