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Entries for October, 2004
My mom was diagnosed with myoma. She was confined at Makati Medical Hospital since two days ago to undergo a blood transfusion days before her operation. The doctors says that she is low on blood. So yesterday, I donated blood for her. My mom is type 'A', while I am 'O'. My blood is not really intented to be transfused directly to her. The thing here is, the blood that would be given to her must be replaced by anyone related to her. So me, and my cousin Ray-ray gave some. Something to ponder upon... (This is not about me, but about a friend of mine). Why would some parents forbid their children to do some things that can make their child GROW UP? Things like hiking, joining sports activities, or ther school activities. I understand that some of those families are poor and cannot afford the expenses. But what if they had the money, but still they say no? They say that it was a waste of time. Well I don't think so. When I become a parent one day, I won't be like that. |
I wake up late yesterday. It was 2pm. I woke up with a text message on my cell phone. It was my sister telling me that my mom needed type-A blood badly that day. And needs 2 donors. So I prepared my self up, ate my late lunch, took a bath and get my money some my secret stash. I was thinking of going online that time, hoping that I could get a blood donor from somebody I know from the net. It was already 3:00pm that time, and I got only until 8pm that night to search for a donor. The hospital’s laboratory closes at 8pm, and my mom needs the operation by 7am the next day. I went online on a café along Pasong Tamo in Makati. Using MIRC and my ever-reliable Yahoo! Messenger, I went searching through-out my friends who are available that time. There were only a few talking people at the channel that moment like Adz, Recy, Dan, and some other few tried to help, but alas, I failed. But still, I really do appreciate their help. 4:25pm. A few more hours left. I closed down my MIRC. As I shut down that program, Adz buzzes in my Y!m, asking me to come back to MIRC because Recy says she got someone with type-A blood. So I’ve just talked to her through Y!m cause she’s online that time. She informed me that JJ, who was at their shop that moment, is type-A. So I said thanks then I quickly logged out of that shop and looked around for a payphone. I called at Recy’s house to ask about JJ. She told me to call at their house. Then I called, but he’s still not home. Probably still running back to their house. So I decided to come back home to get my things and then call again. Jermaine, my brother, is not at home, maybe looking out for another donor. I got my things then called JJ. He answered the phone and confirmed that he is type-A. So we decided to meet up at LRT station at Pedro Gil station in Manila. Past 5pm. JJ and I met. I decided to ride on a taxi to make it on time, though I am not sure if my money I was holding that time is enough to take me on Asian Hospital at Muntinlupa. Gladly, we made it on time. It was 6:30pm when we arrived. My sister, Jeannie, was waiting for us by the lobby. We went straight to my mom’s room at 5th floor to see if she’s ok. After saying my hello, my sister assisted JJ to 3rd floor for blood test and donation and I went with them. My family laughed a little when they learned that I got a donor from somewhere in the net. Thanks JJ. |
I was watching a movie last night, and I was really moved by what Nicholas Cage was saying at the first part of the movie, entitled "Adaptation". "Do I have an original thought in my head? My bald head. Maybe if I were happier my hair wouldn't be falling out. Life is short. I need to make the most of it. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I'm a walking cliche. I really need to go to the doctor and have my leg checked, there's something wrong; a bump. The dentist called again, I'm way overdue. If I stop putting things off I would be happier. All I do is sit on my fat ass. If my ass wasn't fat I would be happier. I wouldn't have to wear these shirts with the tails out all the time. Like that's fooling anyone; fatass. I should start jogging again, 5 miles a day, really do it this time; maybe rock climbing. I need to turn my life around. What do I need to do? I need to fall in love. I need to have a girlfriend. I need to read more, improve myself. What if I learned Russian or something, or took up an instrument? I could speak Chinese. I would be the screenwriter who speaks Chinese and plays the oboe. That would be cool. I should get my hair cut short, stop trying to fool myself and everyone else into thinking I have a full head of hair. How pathetic is that? Just be real, confident. Isn't that what women are attracted to? Men don't have to be attractive, but that's not true; especially these days. Almost as much pressure on men as there is on women these days. Why should I be made to feel I have to apologize for my existence? Maybe it's my brain chemistry. Maybe that's what's wrong with me, bad chemistry. All my problems and anxiety can be reduced to a chemical inbalance or some kind of misfiring synapses. I need to get help for that, but I'll still be ugly though. Nothing's gonna change that." -Nicholas Cage, "Adaptation" |
I had a dream. I was walking towards south, somewhere near the airport in South Express Way. While I was walking, I saw a small child walking towards me (coming from south). He has a crew cut hairstyle and a cut on his right knee (probably he got it from playing so much). And the thing I was surprised with this boy is that he is wearing a school uniform familiar to me, a Paco Catholic School uniform (it is also the school where I came from). He’s wearing a white t-shirt, khaki shorts, black shoes, and an ID. He was frowning that time. And when he got close to me, he says, “Help me”. He added, “I know that you are the only one who can help me…”, and then he hugged me. That time, I know I was about to go somewhere else, but when the kid asked for help, I can’t say no. So I asked the kid, “Where did you come from?” He answered, “We (his family maybe?) ran out of helicopter fuel so we landed there (pointing at the airport). But I got lost.” I assumed that this kid is rich, because he rides on a helicopter. Since I know where does this child study (judging from his uniform), I decided to bring him there. Maybe the school can help him back to his family. Going back north, we still walked. Maybe I kept walking because I don’t have anything that time. A few hours later, when we’re still walking going to Paco somewhere Manila, I remembered that every student ID have their home telephone number behind it. So I checked it out. I reached for his ID and when I flipped it on its back, I read “899-(some blurry text)”. Then I woke up. When I woke up, I realized quickly that the dream was so symbolic. It’s was all bout me. I am not sure about this, but these are my interpretations: - That kid is me, when I was still at very young age. He is rich, meaning, God has really blessed him for his innocence and faith. - I was going south, He is to north. Maybe today, I'm really going on a WRONG WAY. The moment we met, means that, I should find myself to help myself go to the right direction. And I am the only one who can help myself rightnow... - the telephone number on the ID that starts with "899". It's the last clue that told me that this kid is me. "899" telephone numbers can be found only in Makati. I live in Makati. Maybe God wants me to come back to him so much... I've learned something about a person, who prabably doesn't know me. But I know her. She's probably in pain right now because a heartache. I'm sorry I cannot do anything for you. I wish that your ex-boyfriend got a little more fair to you... |
Yesterday morning. My mom informed me that Uncle Arthur needed a blood donor. My dad asked me to do it, even though I did donated a few weeks ago. But still, I agreed because my uncle needs it badly. So I went to the hospital with my Aunt Mely, Uncle Arthur's sister. I went straight to the blood bank. After waiting for an hour, the MedTech called me for tests and donation. I really don't have an idea how much blood is extracted to a person on a blood-letting. So I asked the MedTech. He told me that it was 450cc, which is equivalent to half a litre. So that means, this month, I just already lost a litre of blood. So now, I feel so weak. Wow. |
On the day when I donated blood for my mom. I was about to go home with a very weak body, I was walking somewhere in Sucat. I was about to cross the road until a car suddenly approached fast before me, blocking my way. I got a little irritated because it is a pedestrian lane. But I kept my cool. So I went to the back of the car to finally continue crossing the street but without warning, the car went on reverse, bumping me. Thankfully, I'm not hurt. I was angry at the stupid driver. I wanted to give him "the finger". But I kept my temper down, gave the driver a piercing sharp look, and just continued to walk. Last Sunday, I went to Ate Alnee's farewell party. She's going abroad for work, at the Philippine embassy in Hongkong. I think she will be gone for 6 years(?). Two years in Hongkong, 4 years somewhere else. But she told us that she will be back next year for a visit. The party was fun. Videoke, food, friends, and especially the SASHIMI! (thanks for the salmonela!) joke. Dan, Nico, Adz, Recy, JJ, Jjay, Jaycee, Anne, Billy, Vanny were there to enjoy the fun. |
As of today, I am still seeking for some answers. Come to think of it, the thoughts of depression never stops. Good thing I got a talk with a not-so-close friend of mine. Somehow, I got a feeling she's the best one to talk to that time because I have thoughts of doubt with some of my friends. I doubt that they would just tell me the usual answers they tell me about problem handling. And I don't think it helps. Thank you whoever you are. You know who you are. Last Wednesday evening, I went home earlier than I usually do. I was in my friend's cybercafe that time. Again, my friend and her younger sister went on a little violent arguement. These siblings never know that everytime they do that, it hurts a lot for me. I suddenly just went out of the shop and just went home. On the way, I had teary eyes. That family got lots of problems. I wish I could do anything. Too bad, there's nothing I can do for them. Mahirap man isipin, malaki na nga pinagbago nung isa... Change is unenvitable. |
Basically, I'm still adjusting. I used to wake up at 2:30pm, and I'm awake until 6am. Yes, a nocturnal person. Para na nga kong bampira e. I used to hang around at a friend's CyberCafe playing Ragnarok till dawn. But something happened back there, and I have to do my thesis already. So, to prevent my self from being addicted to Ragnarok again (well at least for some time), I choose not to show my self to that place. Maybe that would help me focus. Now, I'm trying to adjust my internal clock. I long to be "normal" again. LOL. I wonder how are they doing? How is Bible doing? I bet galit-galit pa rin silang magkakapatid dun. Sana magkabati na sila. I always pray for the 3 sisters... I going back doing my thesis AGAIN. Damn thesis. I hope I could finish it. With Ragnarok out, I'm searching for things to keep me busy (minus my thesis of course). So I am now self-learning Flash animation, which so far I'm doing well, I think; and Reading other people's blogs at Tabulas. I never thought that reading blogs could be so interesting. |
My cousin was too damn lucky to meet 3 of the most well-known "Survivor" contestants. My cuz is a reporter in a newspaper. Yesterday, she's reporting about the opening of the new season of PBL. Luckily, the 3 SURVIVORS went there for a presscon.  |
Sometimes, I feel so useless. Good thing is there are few of my friends who still believes in me, who talks to me about their problems, who tells me their secrets, because they trust me. Somehow, that makes me feel important. Thank you friend for believing in me. It's funny to think that I have people who I call my "bestfriends" but I never know if they treat me the same. |
A call center called me an hour ago. It sounds like a foreigner (I think so) who called me. Tomorrow, at 9am, he told me to dressed up with business attire, and get confident. I'm nauseous, I'm nauseous... |
HAHAHAHA! I passed the first job interview and the exam! Tomorrow, I'll be having my final job interview. Wish me luck. naka-necktie ako bukas hehehehe. naks. |
Nevermind the title. I just can't think of anything else. Anyway, just what I have said earlier, I will be having my final inteview later in the morning (9am). An agency staff told me that the interviewer will need to assess my oral skills in english. I am a good english writer. But not a good talker, though. So how am I preparing for the interview? I am talking to myself, in english. I also read english articles from books and read it with proficiency. I forgot to tell you the funny thing back there at the interview. I was there at the reception hall, waiting for my turn to be interviewed. I was so nervous. I was calming myself down, until I remembered an episode of Spongebob Squarepants about fine dinning. Squidward was calming down Spongebob. To do that, he told Spongebob to lower his shoulder. I did it too. Surprisingly, it did work for me! |
I am not very satisfied with the interview. I got so nervous, but I tried my best to communicate in english, though I admit that my oral skills are not that really good. I think I screwed up. The callcenter company asked me to call the agency on Monday for the results. I'm not optimistic with that. But I needed the money for my family. Hopefully, God would let me pass. If not, that's ok. Maybe he really wanted me to finish my studies first. I don't want to put myself into disappointment. But still, I am hoping... I feel like crying right now. I got this quote from Jae. It truely is interesting. "I hate people who blame the Devil for their own shortcomings and I hate people who thank God when things go right." -Voltaire |
Too bad tagboard is down. I think that is the second most important part of a blog (next to the entries itself). I went to Makati Cinema Square yesterday because I got so bored. Nothing to do. I went around the mall to check things out. They got a costume party there for halloween. I also bought a Internet card (which is free from 12am-8am), and 2 pieces of 730mb CD-Rs. Then I went around again, chick watching (LOL). ...Then I went to church. I felt like going there. I kneeled down and said thanks to HIM. For some reason, I was crying. I realized that HE was so good to me, ever though I did terrible things. HE never leaved me alone on the moment that my mom got hospitalized. We don't have enough money, but HE provided. HE gave me a good uncle, a selfless aunt, and such helpful cousins. And on my VERY FIRST job interview, HE let me get into the final interview just to experience it. I also thank HIM because my mom is still alive after the operation. I am getting really close to my siblings, not like before. And I am truely thankful about that. And on the times that I'm really losing my self-respect, he provided my with trusting friends. A bunch of them, who trusts me, believes in me and cares. I just went out of the church because I can't stop crying. Overjoyed. |
Yesterday night, I decided to go to Megamall because I got so bored. It's not really a part of my plan to go there today. When I got there, I saw a lot of good 'ol friends like Adz, Dan, Luanne, Tintin, Elben, and others. We ate and talked a lot like the usual crazy conversations we always do. I replaced the tabulas tagboard with the shoutbox from tag-board.com because I got so impatient. |
Yet another survey. I got it from tere's friendster message. (Missed you tere!)  1. Favorite Song Ever? ~ Together in Electric Dreams by Human League 2. Hatest Song Ever? ~ Stupid Love! by Salbakuta 3. Name one song that you think only you have heard of and really really like. ~ As long as It matters by Gin Blossoms 4. Perfect Song for Sex ~ I Swear by All 4 One (Bakit? naalala ko lang yung kwento nung highschool classmate ko, yun daw yung tugtog sa porn na napanood nya. tawa ako ng tawa  )5. If you were to join a singing contest, what would you sing? ~ Be my Lady by Martin Nievera 6. What songs would you want to be played in your funeral? ~ Tears in heaven and Together in Electric Dreams 7. What song/s would really really make you cry? ~ Tears in Heaven 8. What song brightens up your day before going to school, work? ~ Rainbow by Southborder 9. First tape/cd you bought ~ Mga Kababayan ko (Tape) by Francis M. 10. Latest tape/cd you bought ~ I forgot. ano nga ba yun. 11. Fave song for your ex/s ~ nothing. NGSB (No girlfriend since birth) 12. Most painful song ever heard? ~ Friend of Mine by Lea Salonga 13. Favorite Gospel Song ~ Lead me Lord by Garry Valenciano 14. Song you want to be played on your wedding day ~ Grow old with you by Adam Sandler 15. Song that best describes your life ~ Friend of Mine 16. Song for yourself right now? ~ I Wanna Know What Love Is by Foreigner 17. Favorite party/groove song? ~ Let's Groove by Earth, wind, & Fire 18. Song you used to sing all the time as a child? ~ Sweet Child O' Mine by Guns & Roses 19. What song makes you sleep? ~ Love songs 20. What song would you like to sing to the one you love? ~ Dami. Sampol: Be my lady, You Changed My Life In A Moment (Janie Frickie), All My Life (K-Ci & Jojo), etc. |
Check this out. I added a story on my contents page. A touching story of a husband and wife. |
