It was lunch time yesterday when we held our office's Christmas party at DAD's restaurant in SM Megamall. It was fun, especially of course I have the chance to get to know each other better. We even invited Alex. And in addition to the fun, the company gave us groceries for the holidays, and 500 Pesos from our manager, Sir Mike. [see our photo album here]

Later, I've just found myself feasting on Japanese food. (I hope I didn't catch salmonella and worms. lol) And we got these free stuffed toy penguins and bears.

And after the feast, I headed straight to Greenhills shopping mall to buy myself a gift: a Nintendo DS lite! haha. Cool gadget.

Last Friday, afternoon. 

"Oh no! I'm late!"

I was rushing a requirement for a client that day. He didn't inform me earlier that he wants a meeting that day, and wants me to show something done in his website. I've just received a text message from him while I was taking a rest. So even though I felt so terrible that moment, I had to work on it.

But earlier that day, I was having LBM at work since the day before. I cannot concentrate at work, so I went home early.

As a result, my work is a mess. Honestly. But I have to see my client in a Starbucks near Makati Ave corner Jupiter Street later in afternoon. I was afraid that everyone (my client, and my partners) will be disappointed. While walking towards the café, I went thinking on how can I surpass this and asking God to save my butt.

I entered Starbucks and met them there. They saw my pitiful work, but of course, I just pointed out some things to be completed and they started asking questions, and gladly, I answered them straight and I managed to worked things out. Even though LBM hurts my tummy sometimes, I managed to me composed. lol.

Everything we ok, and I went home at 5pm.
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I thought was going to die back there... 

When I got home, I went straight to bed. I was really tired. But I still have work later at past midnight.

I woke up at 11 pm as usual, prepared myself for work and got into a taxi by 12am. I was feeling fine that moment. I even played my Nintendo DS while on the road. As the taxi runs to the bridge of Guadalupe Makati, I suddenly felt uneasy. So I placed my portable game back to my bag. I asked manong to go right to Pioneer street in Mandaluyong. But seconds after that, I found myself gasping for air. The taxi is air conditioned, but I feel as if i'm inside a vacuum box. I pulled the window down a little and that made me feel a little better but I can still hear myself gasping. I was scared that moment. I asked the driver to drop me by the nearest hospital, at Medical City.

I was thinking that I was having a heart attack, but I am not sure. My heart beats so fast, and I cannot breath. I've read on books that a heart attack have a symptom like chest pain and a "feeling" that radiates starting from hands to chest. I didn't feel those things. I don't know what's happening.

When I got into San Miguel Avenue, I felt a little better. I even asked the driver to just drop me by my office, thinking that I can ignore what I felt. But I have to think rationally that moment. If I ignore it, I could black out in the office. So I pressed on to the hospital. As I get near Medical City, there it goes again. I was shaking. I thought I was going to die that night.

The driver dropped my by the entrance of the hospital and paid him for the service. I went down from the taxi and quickly whispered at the guy who opened the door for me, "Di ako makahinga... paki-assist na lang po ako..." 

Quickly, he assisted me to sit by the fountain first, then went running to get a wheel chair. It was the first time I rode a wheel chair, and never thought that I would be riding one at this age.

The assistant brought me to the lobby, then to the ER. The doctors asked me some questions, done some tests. ECG, BP, etc.And also, I began texting my office, my mom, my bro. Unfortunately, no one's replying from home, so I started texting my aunt. I know she will call my mom. I don't have much cellphone credit that moment.

They gave me an oxygen tank so I can breath better. It was a good thing my mind is clear those moments. I didn't went blank or anything worse like that. My parents came after that, and I went home after 3 hours in the hospital... as if nothing happened.

The tests shown nothing bad. I still cannot believe those results. I think have to get better tests later. I am not sure what triggered those palpitations. It could be anything. The doctors told me that this could be a stress-related issue. They asked me to slow down on my activities.
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Narealize ko na masyado ko na pinapahirapan sarili ko. Trabaho, extra raket, Church activities, etc. Tapos kulang pa ko sa exercise, at may mga problema na lagi na lang iniisip. I have to start unloading some excess baggages. Naalala ko tuloy sa Hospital yung isang line sa "The Interview with God"...

"What surprises you most about mankind?"

God answered:

• "That they get bored of being children, are in a rush to grow up, and then long to be children again.
• That they lose their health to make money and then lose their money to restore their health.
• That by thinking anxiously about the future, they forget the present, such that they live neither for the present nor the future.
• That they live as if they will never die, and they die as if they had never lived…"

I called up my client yesterday. And he's backing off with our deal.

He sounds so disappointed. Of course, he should be.

It was really sad. He didn't even mention about getting back what he paid for so far. But in fairness, he's calm that moment. I've just explained why I haven't done my job properly.

One factor is that thing that happened to me last time. Got hospitalized. I badly needed some rest. My body is not that as good like it used to be. I even don't go to Church activities anymore (except for the weekly mass).

I was so sad for everything to turn out like this. I hate it when I make people get disappointed.

Hindi lang pala yung client ko ang nadisappoint siguro. Pati na rin siguro si Nico. Nagpatulong na rin kasi ako sa kanya, at nagpromise ako na mababayaran sya.

*sigh* Anyway... I just see that as a blessing in disguise. At least I have nothing to worry about right now except my health.

Paubos na rin pera ko sa wallet. Buti na lang lapit na sweldo lol. Hindi naman ako nagwo-worry, I know God always provides. Nakakatuwa nga eh, Nung isang araw, may nagpapagawa ng PC sa akin na kapitbahay. Syempre kita rin yun. Biruin nyo, bago pa lang lumabas yung problem, may sagot na.

At kahapon rin, after nung mass at pauwi na ako, nakasalubong ko ang isang kakilala. Magpapagawa rin ng computer daw sa opisina. Pati rin pala yung office ng Simbahan namin nagpagawa. Galing nga ng pagkakataon. hehehe. Talagang pinatunayan nya na hindi ko kailangan magworry pagdating sa pera. Hindi ganun kalaki yun pera, tulad ng dapat na makukuha ko sa kliyente ko, pero sapat (o higit pa) para makaraos ako hanggang sa susunod na sweldo (at bukas na pala yun!).

SALAMAT PO .

P.S. Nakakatuwang isipin na ilang beses na rin pala sa akin nangyayari to. hihihi.
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 I'm praying for my friend, Nico right now. I know he's having a very hard time in his life right now. Di ko lang ma-kwento dito pero... grabe. Pre, like what I said, God will provide. Just keep looking, ok? Tutulungan kita sa abot ng aking makakaya.